Monday, April 25, 2011

RtH Ass-Clown Rankings, POATW Edition

Tough times have fallen here in Ass-clown land. Due to some extremely underpants gnome-like administrating, I am without a job. And while it's hard to not put my former employers in this week's AC Ranks, these rankings are for baseball, not real-life. And I promise that my real-life problems will only make me all the more snarky for this week's version of the Relay to Home Ass-Clown Rankings, The Pissed Off at the World Edition And awaaayy we go!

5. Jim Tressell, HC, Ohio State. Last week, NR. What? This isn't allowed? Bite me! I had a rough week, I hate OSU and these are my rankings. So, nyahh! I work hard to make sure that I do my job right, yet still lose my job. This tool ignores a major component of his job, compliance, yet he'll probably keep his gig. The fine he'll pay for his buffoonery would have helped in keeping my former employer from declaring bankruptcy.

4. Frank McCourt, Owner, LAD. Last week, NR. For starters, he's an owner, which makes him an automatic dink. Now he can't seem to get divorced without turning into a drama filled soap-opera. Dude, you're a frickin' gajillionaire! Give the broad what she wants and move on and maybe let your team operate without all these distractions. The cash he's gonna give up to his ex would have more than helped keep my job from disappearing.

3. Manny Ramirez, ex-OF, kicked out retired. Last week, 2nd. I checked, yup, he's still an Ass-Clown. Million dollar bat...ten cent head. He'd be an automatic administrator with my former employer.

2. Josh Hamilton, OF, TEX. Last week, 1st. He didn't give me any reason to remove him from the rankings yet, but like my former employer, he blamed his own incompetence on someone else.

1. Mike Leake, SP, CIN. Last week, NR. Must. Resist. Urge. To. Kill. The amount of money this douchebag makes in one year would have also been enough to keep my former employer from folding. Yet he feels he doesn't have to pay for $50 worth of t-shirts? Um, don't you get crap-loads of free shit already for being a major- league ballplayer? INCLUDING T-SHIRTS!?!? Tell you what. Pay me 1/8 of your salary and I'll serve as your personal t-shirt buyer. Stop the damn world, I wanna get off.

See you next week, dammit.

1 comment:

  1. That post made me laugh harder than it was probably appropriate. through the nose kind of laughter. John is the man!